A testimony of how God set me free yesterday from emotional baggage

Started by Stephen Worrell, September 12, 2008, 12:37:35 pm

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Stephen Worrell

Yesterday, I was driving down Highway 57 from San Dimas toward Tustin, called back by Human Resources for a second interview for this $46,000.00 meter reader position the Lord blessed me to apply for [which I believe I will receive, amen!].  I was happy driving in this crazy California traffic, because 980-something people had applied for two available positions, and here I am as one who has made it to the final stages of getting hired, praise God!

So, I had this c.d. playing in my Jeep which was blasting some fun and loud songs to keep me moving.  I had compiled a whole bunch of music in Colorado on ten c.d.'s to keep myself occupied for the long drive over to California.  It was number 8 c.d. in the changer.

All of a sudden, I found myself listening to R.E.M.'s "It's The End Of The World As We Know It [And I Feel Fine]".  I had always enjoyed this manic / frenetic song, which always put an extra boost to my day listening to Michael Stipe sing "Lenny Bruce is not afraid", and sing about other social / cultural / political events of the last couple of decades.  The song is essentially an update of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire" [itself an update of Don McLean's "American Pie"].

"It's The End Of The World As We Know It" is the entire lyric of the chorus, sung three times, followed by "I feel fine".

I got to the end of the second chorus, and all of a sudden as I began to sing "It's The End Of The World As We Know It", all this emotion just hit me.  The words began to ring so true to what I've been going through over the past few weeks and months.

Just a couple of weekends ago, I travelled up to Ohio to bury my 86-year-old grandfather.

I just found out that my boss's boss from NC just died at age 44 of cancer.

I'm far from home and family, dealing with people who are trying their darndest to make life difficult for me as their way of saying "welcome to the family", completely opposite of my own blood family loving and caring for me.

Everything just hit me at once, and the tears began to roll down my face profusely as I'm trying to focus in heavy traffic going 75 miles per hour, wearing a nicely pressed and coordinated business-type outfit that I definitely did not want to spill anything on.  It was simultaneously the feeling of the first part of the title, the end of my world as I knew it, but also it was the knowing that I feel fine, the beginning of a new world I'm entering into as I get ready to marry Grace.

I began to feel a strange mix of sadness at loss of the past life, but a rejoicing and relief that I have embraced and am embracing this new life here in another part of the world I'd never even visited before coming to meet her family back in April.

I began to realize just how extremely much I was missing my mom, dad, brothers Rob and Tim, and the rest of the family.  I began to think about old times, how easy it was to run to mom's house to say hi whenever I wanted to, how nice it was to go over there on Sunday afternoons, how good it was for that house to feel like home to me, how nice it was to see their faces every time, how ecstatic I was to see them all again when we had to go to Ohio for grandpa's funeral.

I began to think of old memories from Wilmington and how much I deeply love my home state North Carolina.

I began to miss my old wrestling buddies, who used to go with me to the "historic Wilmington National Guard armory" to watch the matches live in person, to hold up funny heckling signs at the wrestlers, such as "You Forgot Your Lines" and who would also go with me to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the monthly pay-per-views. 

I began to think about how I missed my old job that I loved so much.

I began to think about my buddy Bob, whom I've know since 1991, who is my best friend after Grace, who has walked with me through lots of trials in my life, who has faced the dating problems I had, who was always there to encourage me and to lift me up, who has always been the very best of buddies and friends to me.

It's not that I began missing everyone and everything at that precise moment, it's just that I didn't realize how deeply I did miss them until that moment.  Up until now, I have been telling myself how great California is, how much I love Grace, how glad I am to begin this new life, how good things are over here, and all of those things.  And all those things are absolutely true, without any question.  I would not trade this life for the world.  But I think in trying to be so positive, I was trying not to feel depressed or deeply sad.  I was trying to avoid letting myself go into an emotional slump as I'm trying to live in this new place, trying to focus on the task at hand of preparing to get married, trying to gear up for jobs and responsibility, being a good fiance/husband to Grace and a good in-law to Grace's family.

I just didn't know that all this pain and emotion needed to be released out of me. 

As I was crying and at the same time being happy, it was like when you see a rainy day where the sun is peeking out from behind the clouds.  You know the sun is there, you know the light is there, but you still see, hear, and feel the rain.  And I was still feeling the emotion, even though I was having release at that moment.  It felt really good to let this out, to just let it flow and flow and flow.

You know, I must have looked silly and ridiculous to all those California people driving up and down Highway 57 yesterday afternoon as I was crying, laughing, and singing out loud while God was doing a work in me to heal my heart.  But there was a part of me that really didn't care.  It was my "God moment".  It was mine.  And God was there.

Thank you, Lord, for healing me.

Stephen Worrell

PS - God set me free and I had a great interview yesterday.  We were all laughing during the interview.  I've never been to an interview where a good time was had by everyone present.  They said they will call me by Monday or Tuesday.

map4

what a wonderful testimony. Thank you for sharing.

Jesus said to cast our cares on Him. But how often do we hold on to them. Sometimes without even realizing. We bury them thinking we have let them go. But God cares enough to not let us keep them buried.

Glory to God! He cares for every aspect of our lives.

Change is hard sometimes. Even when we know it is the right thing. How awesome that God gave you this time to be cleansed from all of that so you can begin your new life without any emotional baggage.

He is awesome!!

Pete

Stephen, that was an awesome testimony!  I'm so excited to see what God is doing in the lives of everyone here!  Thank you for sharing that!
"There is no charge for awesomeness -- or attractiveness."

Tina

I love reading testimonies like this -- God is good and wants us FREE!

leadworship

Sweet man!  God's so good, and more and more of these testimonies are being shared.  God's actively moving in his people.

I knew some people in Wilmington - a girl named Brooke Bell... married now though.  She'd be 32-ish. 

Also, dcTalk redid EotWawKI.  Don't mind the video - it's from the FInal Fantasy games, but check out the song.  Do you think they did it justice?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQkLg2U5iLU

Stephen Worrell

I have to run to take Grace to work, but I will check it out later on.  Thank you.  Thanks to everybody.

PS - I attended Wilmington Christian Academy.  I don't know if you knew anyone from there.  How are you connected to Wilmington?

leadworship

I'm not really.  A friend of mine moved up there.  Her father was a Pastor where I grew up and live now.  His name is Luke Bell - but he went up there and started back at his old labor, masonry.  They moved up there, I flew up to visit them once and I fell in love with the area, but I've not been back.

charityagape


flaglady

Stephen, that moved me - I mean REALLY moved me! Thank so much for sharing that side of you. You rock, bro!

Sarah

Your post says so much.  What a blessing He has given to you.  Can't wait to see how it all works out for you.
Embraced by the loving arms of the Father....

sharonl

Thank you STephen for sharing this.

Isn't it wonderful that this healing came just as your are starting your new job - new life, new job, new wife, a very exciting time for you and Grace.
Diamonds From Heaven - help for the hurting heart
http://gentle.org/sites/diamonds/
Beautiful gifts - the men love them http://chopsknives.com

Stephen Worrell


LivingByFaith

That is a great testimony! It's so awesome to see how God works His ways in each of us. What an awesome God!

DianeL

All I can say is WOW! God is good.

It made me think of Abraham, how he must of felt and what he thought about when he left.
34
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
35
By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13