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His Grace Oasis
Started by Rachel Faith, July 14, 2011, 09:23:43 am
I am the ginger ninja.
Location: Nacogdoches TX
July 14, 2011, 09:23:43 am
Last night I went to church and the associate pastor gave the message. It was a call to prayer. While I have always been known to pray more than others, last night the message just grieved me. Now I am known as a pray-er. If someone asks for prayer, I pray for them right then and there with my husband. He is more apt to grab someone in the local supermarket or bowling center and for them. We have done that numerous times. I am more the one that will listen to people and watch them and when I sense or hear or see a need in their lives, I pray for them silently for however long until I feel like I am not supposed to pray anymore. I often get woken up in the middle of the night (God is really on time....I wake between 2:30 and 3:30 like clockwork) to pray for someone. Sometimes I know what to pray for. Most of the time I don't. I just know that I am supposed to pray for them. Sometimes I am so burdened for them that I will be awake just weeping for them (I believe that God sees our tears as prayers too...those are the prayers that we don't have words to express). Other times I just pray in tongues. Sometimes I write encouraging notes and put scriptures in them that are along the lines of what I am praying for.
But I am always praying. So last night the associate pastor was giving the message and the devil just went at me. Thoughts like "see...your prayers aren't doing any good" or "you just need to stop praying altogether. it's not helping him...look at him...he's desperate" or "why do you keep trying to encourage him....his wife thinks he suffers from depression...you can't encourage him". I mean it was just very specific. So I was just broken. GOd especially put this associate pastor and his wife on my heart when they first came. And I have just stayed up many a nights praying for them. It was really disheartening.
So after the service (I cried the whole time....not because I felt like I wasn't doing enough...but the burden for them was just so heavy. I just sobbed and prayed) I went to the associate pastor. And he saw me and thought he knew what I was going to say "Rachel I didn't mean that you weren't praying...I just mean that the church isn't praying for us...I know you pray...probably more than anyone else here for the leadership". I asked him this : "do you mean to tell me that this church doesn't have an intercessory prayer team?" THe answer was, no. It doesn't.
So I told him that if they decide to start one, to let us know. We've been having trouble with the whole "connect group" we are supposed to be starting because we didn't really want to follow a book. We didn't want to follow a book because when you do that, you have to stick to a strict time schedule...we just wanted to pray with and for people and discuss spiritual things and just really "connect". So I don't know what is going to happen. I emailed the pastor at like 4 this morning (because I woke up at 3 crying again) and asked him if it would be too weird if we just gathered sometime at church and asked the congregation to join us and lay hands on the pastoral staff and pray for them. I don't know how they'll react...it's a baptist church. We are obviously not baptist...but they know that and they let us minister anyway.
But the whole waking up in the middle of the night thing is really starting to get on my husbands nerves. Mine too, to be honest. I posted on facebook that "anyone who says they love praying has never done a night watch". I just wish I knew what was going on. I am praying for direction. I just don't know what I'm getting myself into. I know because of my past in the occult that there is a war going on. I know their tactics. I used to fight on the dark side and go into churches and pray against the pastors and the ministers there. That was easy. It's so much harder to be on the other side now.
Oh...I'm rambling. Sorry.
Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
Child of JC
Location: Northern Ontario Canada
July 14, 2011, 09:36:18 am
Child labor is not a fun process. As the pains increased I don't remember feeling excited that the end was nearing- I was kinda focused on getting through the pains (LOL).
You might be close to the end of something.
♥ Created to Love and be Loved ♥
His Grace Oasis
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