Seeking Godly Counsel

Started by 8 iron, February 17, 2009, 07:13:57 pm

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8 iron

The ex wife has been on a holy war of late. Not sure what her problem is. However, she's doesn't seem happy and is blaming me for her problems.

Of course, we've been divorced for 3 years and I don't cause her any grieve. I'm a little concerned as she seems to be playing the victim role really well.

She doesn't work, she lives off my child support and the child support from her first husband. She is currently remarried, her 3rd husband.

When she first started to turn mean-spirited this thought popped in my head. She married husband #3 thinking he would fix all her troubles and everything in life would finally be okay.

I'm trying hard not to judge, however, that thought popped in my mind. We all know getting married doesn't fix what is wrong with one's life. So she's still troubled.

She called me crying about 4 months before she got married. I still don't know who I am, nothing works for me, why can't my life fall into place, I have no meaning in life. Same stuff she said after she divorced her 1st husband, 15 years ago and the same thing she was crying about when she divorced me 3 years ago.

Anyway, she's changed. Even my daughter has started to talk negatively about her own mother. I have to repent occasionally because I say or think things I shouldn't about her.

She if very hard to deal with. She has been sick, she's lost 35 lbs, weighs 121 lbs, @ 5'11. Not very healthy weight for a person of that height. She's had multiple medical problems to go along with all the emotional troubles as well.

I just don't know what to do with her anymore. She's getting mean, very mean and I'm not going to put up with it.

Her life seems to be spiraling down from where I'm seeing things. Health issues, mental issues, emotional issues. The kids say she spends most of her time in front of the TV. They also say she sleeps till noon most days. Of course she can't drive or work as she's had seizures recently.

Just don't want her life falling apart affect my relationship with the kids or affect the kids themselves.

Pray and wise words would be appreciated.


Praying for her Brad - she may just be unhappy and falling apart because of so many failures.

Just keep the kids close to you as much as possible - listen to what they say - but just tell them they need to pray for their mother.

The seizures and medications may have something to do with her actions.
Diamonds From Heaven - help for the hurting heart
Beautiful gifts - the men love them


Oh boy, I'm almost 5'8" and 135 lbs and my family thinks I'm too thin. I can't imagine 5'11" and 121 lbs.

I agree with Sharon, it's not easy but try, not to excuse her actions, but for her and your children.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13


Really listen to the kids and if you feel it is to bad then try to get custody, beyond that it depends on what is going on.  A PFA or supervised handoffs of the kids for visits might be in order depending on what is going on.  Prayer is definitely needed and if she goes to a church perhaps some counseling from the pastor


Brad, you are such a wonderful father and have such a heart for the Father.  I can't imagine having to see my children go through this situation.  I know that you will do what you think is best for your children.  you have such a compassionate heart toward your ex, and it really is such a great testimony to me.  I am praying for wisdom and an opportunity to share, and that they have open hearts to ministry. 
Embraced by the loving arms of the Father....


Quote from: 8 iron on February 17, 2009, 07:13:57 pmThe kids say she spends most of her time in front of the TV. They also say she sleeps till noon most days. Of course she can't drive or work as she's had seizures recently.

Sounds like severe depression.
As long as the Steelers themes smileys exist so shall my protest last!


I have no counsel for you, but I echo Sarah's thoughts.  I've seen the Father's heart in you, and you are a walking a testimony of His Love in this trying situation.

We're both praying for you.

"There is no charge for awesomeness -- or attractiveness."

8 iron

Don't know about being a testimony. I have some pretty hateful thoughts toward her at times. It's difficult to control those thoughts as well.

I repent quite often.


Does she have any type of health insurance?  Access to a regular physician?  Can she afford health care???

I'm surprised no one has mentioned that she should see a doctor.  It seems pretty obvious this ought to be the first practical step anyway.