A gift that's demanded is no gift at all

Started by Pete, November 07, 2008, 10:42:18 pm

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As I said in a previous post, there are times when I don't care if my kids don't do something out of fear of me and what I may do if it means their safety.

But I don't want them to be afraid of me, if that makes sense. I don't want it to be to the point that they are afraid to come to me. I want them to respect me and my rules. But I also want them to know that I am here for them for anything.

My boys are teenagers. I am not naive to what teenagers do. Even some of their 'friends' and acquaintances.  I know what goes on at some of the parties.  They both know that I do not approve of them drinking or doing drugs. There will be consequences to pay, not if I find out, but when I find out. BUT, if one of them did drink or do drugs....I have told them they better call me to come get them, no matter what time (even though they have a curfew) because I would much rather go pick them up than them being afraid of me and driving home in that condition. They could be killed or get arrested. I have told them I will come get them and then we would deal with the consequences later. I would much rather them be safe and alive than be scared to call me.

And it is true that before children are old enough to understand right and wrong, they will remember that swat on the behind and it will deter them. They may not understand love, but they do sense it when it is there.

Fear has it place. But it cannot replace a relationship. A loving, caring, nurturing relationship.
It all has to be there for fear to be effective in the way it should be. Without the loving relationship, fear is just that, fear.


Quote from: Pete on November 09, 2008, 10:07:08 pm
Psalm 111:10 (AMP)
The reverent fear and worship of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom and skill [the preceding and the first essential, the prerequisite and the alphabet]; a good understanding, wisdom, and meaning have all those who do [the will of the Lord]. Their praise of Him endures forever.

Proverbs 9:10 (AMP)
The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning (the chief and choice part) of Wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight and understanding.

You and I have slightly different understandings of the word "fear" as it relates to Love, discipline and correction, both in our relationship with God, and in raising children.    But I do see your point.

That is part of the reason that the AMP is not my primary source, but I will take what I can get.   ...so did you look at the raw milk thread?  ...its supposed to be good for cats too.