Its definitely something I need a reminder of.  Hard to show God's love through a judgemental heart.

You have both done more than you know.

Quote from: flaglady on July 01, 2019, 07:20:02 pmBryan, my lovely brother - that is beautiful ! Truly heartfelt and lovely. I have thoughts like that from time to time but sadly I have no activities such as you describe (reading the Bible in Iraq?) to back my feelings up. So I do get down in the dumps about it more often than not. 

I understand your frustration.  From a different POV sure, but still the feeling of not really accomplishing much can wear on a person who does genuinely love the Lord.

I have always thought that even if I couldn't do something concrete in ministry, then at least my prayers could reach a place I couldn't.

I am positive that when we get to heaven, we will only then realize how big (or little) an impact we have had for the Kingdom.  My fear remains that I haven't and won't be able to do enough, but it's honestly out of my hands.  I just have to trust Jesus to bring me the labor he has for me.

If that's being a Pastor, then Shepherd through me Lord.

If it's being a prayer warrior, then may the Spirit guide my words.

If my only purpose is ever to flip burgers at the local restaurant, then may I carry myself in a way that brings Yahweh glory and praise.

We all have different callings, but the same purpose, to bring God glory in whatever task he has assigned us.

Just thought I would share something that has semi helped me get through. I felt I was always destined for something "big and important". But I'm finding out now more than ever, "the world doesn't need more people who are big and important. It needs more people who are nice, and compassionate" (assist to VeggieTales for the quote).

Seriously, I always felt like getting an "official" call to ministry was where I belonged. I need to be a Pastor, I need to be a missionary, I need to be this or I'm failing and not accomplishing anything.

Then it hit me while thinking about stuff the other day, I can honestly say I have done more for God just being myself while I'm out and about, than at any time when I actually did have a "ministry" position.

The people who would approach me and say they noticed me praying over food in Basic Training, or reading my Bible in Iraq, or saying "Jesus loves you" to an atheist confirm to me I don't need a title or label to accomplish things for God. No offense given or meant to actual ministry members.

If I can just accept the place God has put me in right now, then everything else will fall in place.

Something that honestly has helped keep me going over the last few years has been this idea that everything has a season (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).  I had unrealistic expectations that I'd be a forever burning light, growing hotter and hotter.  I knew trials would come, but thought I was able to withstand.  Long story made short, I was humbled.

Now that I think back over things that have happened, I can see in myself the simple truth that everything under God has a time and a season.  Some people may never know their time has come and gone, others may be all to aware of it, but everyone has a time, a place, and a purpose.

The Lord is faithful.

He will not allow His children, no matter how wayward, to suffer more than their able to withstand, and will then make a way for them to come back to life and fruitfulness.  For the Christian, being alive is to be fruitful.

So as the life giving season of Spring gives way to the deadening of the Fall, once the time has been fulfilled, Spring will come again.  I shouldn't lose heart, stay strong, the Lord is by my side no matter.

If I take a cup it can only hold so much liquid.  Fill that cup with milk, then I only have so much room for another beverage.  Then not only do I have limited space, but I have now diluted what was there originally.  Mix chocolate with regular dairy milk, I get chocolate milk.  The quality of the original is diluted.

I feel I do this to myself when I allow judging thoughts to enter my heart.  It dilutes the love that God is trying to work through me.  I cannot love completely and unconditionally, if I allow myself to entertain judgmental thoughts.

Lord help me judge less so that I may love more.

Your faith is stronger than you think. The only problem you have is the same we all face. That problem is the devil and the agenda that he has against us and you, which is to steal, kill and destroy. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Truth is he, the devil is afraid of you. His number one weapon against us and you, a weapon which he uses with much success, is thoughts. The thoughts that have entered your mind that your faith has been destroyed is a lie of the devil. Don't entertain the thought or receive it.